Night Before Wellness
by Jeff Haebig
T’was the night before
wellness, all through the place, not a person was stirring it was a
disgrace.
My program was started
with thoughts of health care, I hoped many people soon would be there.
Nutrition was taught
but despite what I said, visions of junk food danced in their heads.
And rather than
walking or running their laps, most people wanted their long winter naps!
When all of a sudden
there arose such a clatter, as people discovered they were getting much fatter.
Away to the gym they
flew like a flash, it seemed to appear they were having a bash.
The moon on the breast
of their heart throbbing chests, glistened in sweat and was I impressed.
When what to my
wondering eyes should appear, they replaced Gatorade with pretzels and beer!
I offered a food
course so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it would do the trick.
More rapid than eagles
to my food course they came, but when it was over they were eating the same.
Eggnog, French fries,
butter and cream, so high in cholesterol I wanted to scream!
No dashing with salt
they all heard my call, yet despite the warnings they dashed away all.
I offered new courses
to which they all flew, but sensed their frustration and I felt some too!
And then in a
twinkling they asked for some proof, they thought that my teachings were only a
spoof.
I went ahead and
turned things around, I taught them new health skills which seemed more
profound.
Like relaxation from head
to their feet, they thought biofeedback was really a treat!
And target heart
rates, CPR too, positive thinking when feeling blue.
A bundle of skills
which help prevent ills, they thought my health lessons no longer such frills.
Their eyes how they twinkled,
dispositions how merry, complexions like roses, they're no longer wary!
And then it was time
for budget review, with probing questions like, “How did I do?”
The tightening purse
string drawn up like a bow, for me to get money I would have to show …
A total health program
so mighty, yet lean, The examiner looked rather uptight and mean.
The stump of his pipe
he held tight in his teeth, and his cancerous smoke was too much to breathe.
He had a broad face
and oversized belly, that shook when he laughed like he ate too much jelly.
He was chubby and
plump I thought to myself, and hoped that my programs wouldn’t be shelved.
A wink of his eye and
a twist of his pen, led me to think that my programs would end.
He spoke not a word but
went straight to his work, then all of a sudden said he “felt like a jerk!”
He wished to lose
weight and give up his smoking, I felt so elated I almost was choking!
I sprang to my feet to
my team gave a whistle, “We’ll plan you a program that surely won’t fizzle!”
The last words exclaimed as we ended the night, “Wellness quest to
all, and to all much delight!”
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